December 02, 2004

Expectations, means, and variances ...

Exams are finally over. And so is the silence of this blog.

I have had these conversations with people, where they tell me that we should not expect a lot from others, cause it doesn't do any good to us. It puts pressure on the person being 'expected from', and we risk getting hurt in case our expectations aren't met. Keep things easy, and life will roll on smoothly. Ignorance is bliss.

[south indian accent] What rubbish I say! Expectations are a part and parcel of life. We invariably come to expect so many things from so many people around us. We expect the milkman to come on time, we expect the cobbler to not make a mess of our shoes, we expect the vegetable vendor to show us exactly where the fresh vegetables are kept when we ask him ... Is it then so wrong to expect a little more from our friends?

Maybe people look at it in a wrong way. The word 'expectation' itself is a bit negative, let me suggest a better word for it. How about, say, 'trust'? The more you trust someone, the more you come to expect from the person. It's natural, it's reflexive. I believe if we find ourselves expecting a lot from someone, it's probably because we trust that person. And the more we like the person. more trust naturally goes into the relationship, leading to more expectations. There's no escaping this simple fact.

What does this mean to the person who is being trusted? It is only justified that we look into the other side as well. I say, enjoy it! So many people long for someone to trust them. Remember, if you find someone who expects a lot from you, it's probably the trust showing. Congratulations, you may have just found a good friend. Or a stalker. Whatever. Anyway, sometimes, we know we can't live up to the expectations of others. But most of those times, it's not the 'living-up-to' that matters, it's the 'trying' that matters. And if the other person is really a good friend, you will be understood.

I know some people probably won't agree with me. That's all right though, I don't mind. I don't 'expect' everyone to.

I am thinking quite a lot about this, more stuff will probably show up in the future.

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